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"Nothing Is Scarier"

The clacking of computer keys filled the empty space of his tiny dorm room. Somehow, without opening his eyes, he knew it was his longtime friend without the tedious bother of being informed by his senses, rather like in a dream. It was a fairly mundane scene that he didn't see (since his eyes were closed - he was sleeping, after all), of his friend at his computer working on something or other. She visited once a week to play video games, watch movies, and generally unwind.

Without stirring, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

The clacking of keys didn't strop.

"Working on those things you showed me on photoshop, of course." Never mind that it involved the stylus instead of the keyboard. He realized how late it was.

"Couldn't you have done this later?"

"Don't be silly." she admonished, without looking up or stopping her rapid typing. What were her words-per-minute, anyway? "My computer doesn't have photoshop, so I have to do it here."

It made sense. Unlike him, she only had a laptop, and no real desk - the closest was the rather small dining room that she had to share with the rest of her family. But in the middle of the night?

"Couldn't this wait?"

She shook her head, smiling partway with indulgence and part friendly annoyance. "No way, I need to practice this right away or I'll lose it."

Of course. She could be flaky about getting projects down if she didn't sit down with purpose toward it. Still, a million other questions remained, pushing against the clickclack of percussion keys to make room in the space between them both. He asked her how she got in, but she only laughed.

"C'mon, how else? The same way I leave."

That'd be the door. Nothing all that strange so far. Since she was already here and encounced in her diligent project, he might as well leave her to it, slight irritation at her late-night visit aside. He turned over to go back to sleep, but one more question, larger than the rest, muscled and banged its way to the forefront of his mind. Mostly just to bug her in revenge, he asked it of his friend.

"Y'know, I'm not entirely sure this isn't one of those super-detailed dreams one sometimes has. What do you think, huh?"

She laughed again, a light sound, but one that could be trying for others with its high-pitched pierce. Modulating her giggling to a more normal level, she teased him right back.

"I'm right here, silly, just open your eyes."

He grumbled, too lazy to even fulfill that simple request. He whined about being tired, how he had to get up in the morning, and he could do it later. She insisted further, countering every argument he made. Exasperated, she made one more attempt to persuade her friend.

"No, no, open your eyes and see that I'm right here!"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes. Now open your eyes, you lazy bum, and see me here. You have to" Clickaclickaclickaclonk went her fingers at his computer.

His eyes shot open, the street lamp right outside behind his drapes shining through a crack. The room was dark, computer silent, no sound at all. The chair was empty, for there was no one there.


This was a story I wrote based on a prompt "write a short scary story based on the trope Nothing Is Scarier" So I typed one up based on a dream my friend had. When he saw his empty room, he was very creeped out. =)


Thinky thoughts

With aoi_hikari_ai , from here.

Thought so far: SMT art, VAs, headcanon.

Warnings: spoilers for Person 4, possibly for other SMT stuff.

User interaction~

I gots this from me sister~ So, now I want to get to know you guys a little bit more. ^_^

PLEASE POST, SO I CAN SEES YOU. =O Also, be honest with the last one. =<

1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?

2) What was your dream growing up?

3) What talent do you wish you had?

4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?

5) Favorite vegetable?

6) What was the last book you read?

7) What zodiac sign are you?

8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.

9) Worst Habit?

10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?

11) What is your favorite sport?

12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?

15) Tell me one weird fact about you.

16) Do you have any pets?

17) What if i showed up at your house unexpectedly?

18) What was your first impression of me?

19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

22) What color eyes do you have?

23) Ever been arrested?

24) Bottle or can soda?

25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?

27) What's your favorite place to hang at?

28) Do you believe in ghosts?

29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

30) Do you swear a lot?

31) Biggest pet peeve?

32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?

33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?

35) Do you believe in God?

36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?


Today was a day of some failure in Japanese class. Aside from the usual people getting particles wrong (ga with wo, usually), I once again failed at verbs. Twice.

First, we had to use a new (last of the semester!) grammar form, with is something like "I hope/I wish (that this will happen)". So we had to write down what we hoped to do that summer, then say it to our partners. Our partners were to wish us the best (the actually grammar is extremely similar "[potential verb] to iin desu ga" versus "[potential verb] to ii desu ne"). However, I already have a job this summer that starts in a few weeks, as a dishwasher in a camp (no internets for me), so I couldn't hope to do something. I plan on playing a lot of Pokeymans, though. Maybe I should've said that? But I digress.

So how to say this? I ended up with "Arubaito ga aru kara, betsu ni shitakunai desu" ("Since I have a parttime job, there's nothing in particular I want to do"). My partner, Mickey D, didn't think was that totally fly, but she was more concerned with my using "betsu ni" instead of "zenzen" or "amari+neg". Bah. I know what I said... Ha, watch it be completely wrong, grammar-wise. 9u9 lawlz.

So I wanted to put down "I hope I make money". But... I have no idea what "make/earn" nihongo de was. I was thinking, was it in the vocab I had so neglected? Was my chronic trouble with verbs coming back to bite me in the ass? Again? Anyway, the word "okanemochi" popped up. Surely I could use "motsu"! So I wrote "Okane wo moteru to iin desu ga." A second later, Oni-sensei corrected the particle, so I rewrote the "wo" with "ga". Hehehe.... [sneaky sneak!~] Confident, I raised my hand and gave my example.

...And committed fail #1. =<

Oni-sensei said that "motsu" gave the impression that I am actually holding money, so it'd be like I want to get money in any way possible. Augh, I don't want to be a dorobou! ^^; So she suggested either "morau" or (more accurately) "kasegu". Yayyy. Oh, and she added "takusan", too. Tru fax right there~<3

My numbah #2 (the alternate was Oni-sensei putting her foot in her mouth about how Yar-yar helps the class by making mistakes often - she mean he helps often, but we laughed. XD) was when she taught the keigo request form. So we were encouraged to ask something of Now-sensei (the other teacher, who teaches the Japanese-only TTH), since Oni-sensei said you'll always get "yes". xD So I meant to ask something silly like "Could you cook dinner for me?" but I didn't use "tsukuru", but "tsukureru", which means "turn on". ^^; Or was it turn off..? Anyway, Oni-sensei took the opportunity to ask if anyone had a trick to separating "tsukuru" and "tsukau"... I wish there was, but for me (now), there's "uru", and "au".

Not epic fails, but amusing ones~

Icy Dream

I had a long dream just now... or maybe it was just involved? It's so hard to tell the time... I slept for almost 12 hours. (~11:45-11:00).

In the dream, I think I could manipulate ice. Some people wanted me to do something, I'm not sure what, so they took me and dunked my head in water until I agreed (I directly attribute this scene from my reading "The King of Attolia" the day before). I coughed and spluttered, naturally, and I agreed... but then the dream shifted for a bit.
I was in a house of sorts, although it seems more like a shell of one, like you might find in an amusement park. But the house was built inside the mouth of a large fish with little limbs. It was probably fake. Anyway, there was the entrance from the mouth, then a think archway with a door (also arched with a small barred window - it made me think of an oven. But it was also shaped like a monster mouth) to the left. Straight (right of the over door, there was a small hallway where the design changed to that of a Silent Hill game. When I looked at the arched door or that area, the whole thing looked like an Atari game, with poor yellow-on-black graphics. To go through the door without "dying", I had to click (like with a computer mouse) on the yellow skull that peeked through the window first to make it disappear. Once inside, if I wanted to go back, I had to click a yellow sheet of some sort - paper, maybe? A  small slip of fabric? - first.
I couldn't go through the arched doorway right away, so I went to the Silent Hill area. There were many rooms - here the dream format was like a video walkthrough. This time it was James (from SH2), armed with my favorite, the lead pipe, who was walking around. First there were a numbar of rooms, one with some filing cabinets (with a Lying Figure hiding behind a gap in the far left corner from the camera), a room with a green sewer, complete with grates in the walls, to one side, and empty clothing racks with hangers - this room had two Lying Figures, although one hung onto James's neck, though I'm not sure how without arms. There were other rooms, one more spacious... Anyway, there was one long hallway which alternated with right angles, the walls colored a sort of Otherworld flesh red and with detritus. Well, it was normal for Silent Hill - there were more empty racks with hangers (although I get the feeling that it was for a sports' store, like with the glomping Lying Figure room), and many dead bodies, although most of them were unusual and large, like a Slurper. Some of them were covered in sheets, a couple of them groaned when I (James) walked near. The goal of the room was to transverse it before time ran out (I have no idea how long that was) and check the clocks within the room - mostly held by the corpses. Since this was in the manner of a video walkthrough, James ran to every pile to "activate" everything (the groans, etc.) The clocks were very visible, sometimes comically large. Like one big Slurper was sitting and holding out a huge (1.5 foot diameter) pocketwatch like how the Cynthia dummy in SH4 was holding out the token, only without blood. At some point, the watches and James himself got surrounded with clocks and started glowing yellow, but this was exactly like when you use a Speed Charm in the first set of .hack games - //Infection, //Mutation, //Outbreak, and //Quarantine (or //IMOQ for short =D)
Anyway, after I finished that segment, I went back to the arched doorway and clicked the skull and went through. There were some guys, the same ones who had dunked me, surrounding a girl who was hanging from a rope from the ceiling by her wrists. She looked tired and defeated. Somehow, we (whatever avatar was at the moment) to get her out.

This part repeated a number of times, I might have been half-awake. I was in my bed, but I was too weak to get up or wake up properly. My bed, in addition to the two comforters it normally has, was also protected by ice. It was arranged in large square sheets, but turned into diamond shapes and layered like scales. There might have been some other designs on the edges, but that was the majority. I think I was convalescing from my order of being dunked. I felt... sleepy. But I needed to stay awake, I needed to get up, because I needed to talk to the girl. The girl was also surrounded by ice, but she was up and about... sort of. She was shielded from everything, scared of much. There was... something I had to tell her, something which I forgot while writing this down. Started with a "C", sounded crunchy. Was it a nonsense word, like her name? Her name had many consonants, but pronounced in an odd manner. Something like "Valeupvl"... I needed to get up, and tell her that she shouldn't worry about what happened, that I was also dunked by those guys, that she wasn't alone. But I couldn't tell her anything, because I couldn't get up from my bed. I told a boy that, and he said something similar to the girl for me.
I remember my mind wandered, thinking, of all things, of sewing underwear, how I knew were some thread and my needle was, figuring out how to do a cross stitch, and there were a pair of scissors hidden between a tiny plastic chest of drawer on top of my sister's dresser and the bookshelf. I don't know about that.
The girl, she had to know that she could use her ice powers and float, to use that to break free somehow, even while sheathed in ice. In my hypothetical floating, I was glowing blue, like a magic boost status in the more recent .hack games, //GU. The girl switched in, and she looked a bit like Freya from Chobits - not the hair (it was long, but not in that style) or the "ears", but the cast of her eyes, that faraway liquid serious look, and a floaty sundress. Still, I was cocooned on my bed, within my own ice. Still, I felt the need to get out and reach out to the girl.
Then, she could interact with the rest of the world, but I couldn't, because I was still confined. There was something else in the dream thaat I feel like I'm forgetting, a feeling probably derived from the fact that my actual body (outside of the dream) had slid down the pillows and my feet were slightly squished against the bottom board. I did feel like the girl was supposed to do something because I couldn't.

My mom woke me up after some repetitions. I was disoriented for a bit, since I was dreaming of being in the same place, of being immobile. My mom took it as me being sleepy and unwilling to get up and joked about it. My top comforter had come off partially, from the top of my bed, and I half-expected to be enclosed by my ice. The scissors also weren't there. So, here I am, writing my dream before I forgot it.


In which I ramble about my name

 I was told the meaning of my name was "white forehead". I thought it was a stupid meaning, but I didn't know that "forehead" (or "brow") meant "mind". A white mind, a pure mind. I learned that much later. Given how asexy I am, it's fitting. I am pure in most senses, but I'm not perfect. It's an interesting perspective... purity is often synonymous with perfection.

When I was in high school, there was a Japanese couple that came to my school to observe it, since they wanted to start a similar one back in Japan. I knew very little back then, but I said what little I knew. It just happened that we went on the same train after school. I asked them if they would help me write my name in kanji; a Japanese name. But I didn't want a phonetic translation, I wanted the meaning to be carried over instead.

My last name was absurdly simple to translate, it took no effort at all. The kanji are pretty simple, too, it was no effort to memorize them. My first name, though... "White forehead" would look silly. I explained that it was an extension of the idea of a "pure mind". So Mrs. Ono wrote the kanji for pure, and the word for heart, which often represents the mind as well. A white brow, a pure heart, "seishin". A fitting name for a maiden.

I carried that name with me into my current Japanese classes. Nearly everyone wrote their names in angular katakana, or hanzi, but I was unique; I wrote the four kanji, all but one having five or less strokes. I wrote my English name in katakana as furigana above. My first name was difficult to write in kana, so I was corrected. The kanji was "seishin", but it was pronounced like my name, clumsy as it was. I'm glad my teacher allowed me to write my name that way.

In English, my name is female, but not feminine. "Seishin" is not only too feminine for a "boku"-using androgynous person like myself, but it's pretentious to acquire and use a Japanese name when they already have a system for foreign names and words.

"Seishin" is not my name. I am not a maiden, though I might have maidenly qualities or skills. I can dance ballet and sew, but I can rough house with my siblings and shoot a rifle with good accuracy. My given name is fitting; people often say I look like my name.

I'm not sure how to end this; it started as a comment on a poem my friend wrote at 10:30-11:00 at night. My mom is pushing me to bed since there's school tomorrow. Then I'll write my name in kanji again, with the katakana showing pronunciation above.